Misc: The power of gratitude

A while ago came across this interesting post about gratitude and made me remember how much I do hate people not being thankful. When you help someone out you should never expect anything back, as you are supposed to help that person genuinely and not because you can get something back. In fact a few years ago I saw a movie called "Pay it forward" and although it was a pretty bad film I really liked the premise of the movie. Every time someone helps you out or do you a favor you should help out three other people. I don´t need anything back but I would love seeing the people that I helped, helping out someone else as exchange.  Can you imagine how cool this would be?

Though, something that I do expect is just a THANKS. I really, really appreciate when someone takes some of their time to help me out with something and I always make sure that those people know that I appreciate their effort and the time they spend because of me. This might sound obvious and you could think that everyone does that but you are far from right. Thankfully most of the people appreciate when someone helps them out but unfortunately there are some selfish people out there that don´t care whatsoever and it really pisses me off. Along those lines I recently came across this post, from the same guy that the previous one that does a very good analysis of this point too.

A few months ago a good friend of mind asked me if he could come with a friend of his to visit the company where I work as he was studying computer graphics and it was his dream to visit one of the main companies in the business. The company (as most companies) is closed to regular visits but the employees are allowed to let friends and family in and tour them in through the facilities. Obviously I told my friend that there was no problem so they came, I spent a couple of hours with them and everything was just fine. So far so good. A few months later I got an email from that person (my friend´s friend) telling me that he had finished his studies and if I could take a look to his demo reel. One more time I didn´t hesitate and took a couple of hours reviewing his work and sending him a pretty long email with my advice. I tried to be quite up front with him, specifying which parts of the reel were working and which not, what kind of work to expect when you are a recent graduate and which were the steps that I would do if I was in his situation. Have you ever heard about that guy right after I sent him the email? 

I am wondering if all this guy wanted was me to get him a job at the company I work or what, as I never heard back from him. I am also wondering if he got upset because I was honest or if he just thought that saying thanks wasn´t necessary. The funny part of the story is that a few months later, when I had completely forgotten about this guy he wrote back to me asking for more favors WTF??? Can you believe it? The guy  didn't have the decency of saying thanks but he did had the nerve to write back asking for more help. If that person would have responded in the first place I wounld't had hesitated to help him again but obviously, this time I ignored him.

Then some months later something similar happened to me again. That time it was a student that contacted me asking for advice and one more time, I took my time to advise her the best I could and it took her more than two months to get back to me to say thanks. Are you kidding me? Weirdly enough the previous story repeated itself again. When I thought I would never hear from that person again, she reached me out again a few month later, asking for a recommendation letter. Honestly I am still in shock. How can people be so little appreciative and on top of that having the nerve to ask for a recommendation letter to someone that they don't know?

Unfortunately this has been happening to me more often that I would like so unfortunately  , from now on, whenever anyone asks me for help or for advice, specially if it is someone that I don´t know, I will ask myself if I am going to be wasting my time again or not. I really hate being in a situation where I may decide not to help out nice people that would have really appreciated it because of those others asses.

This two guys are looking forward to get a job in the computer graphics industry and although it may seem a pretty big industry with lots of people working on it, we are not that many and it is quite likely that we will cross paths either directly or indirectly in the future. Unfortunately for them if by any chance, anyone asks me know this people I am never going to be able to give any good feedback about them and all because they decided not to write back with just one text line saying thanks.

Unfortunately this kind of behavior is more extended than it seems. I don't think people do it consciously and it is probably due to too many things in everyone's head but I think those little details are very important. I have found the same issue with closer people and friends as well where I have spent my time writing them for their birthday or congratulating them for something and never hearing from them back with just a "thank you note" moreover when I don't have facebook and its birthday alarms. 

Like Ellen DeGeneres says, "Be kind to each other" and be thankful every time someone takes some of his time to help you out. Not only because it is what you have to do but because you never know if you will bump into that person again one day in the future.